ahhh. i think my life in general has improved.
things at home are beginning to settle (i hope) and my grades are slowly rising again (thank you god).
well. the holidays for me were just study study study. goodness. being cooped up at home. there's nothing you can do. ): so. all you can do is just study study study. which is of course what i did. : was good i guess. i think even if i wasnt grounded i'd also be at home anyways. yeah.
the thing i miss the most is my phone.. cant sms a whole lot of people. and i realise how dependent i've grown to my phone.. GAH. like. all my contacts are there. when i need to call someone its so difficult. and i dont memorise. even my dad. i have to ask my bro for it.. ahhh sigh. plus when there's stuff that pple need to tell me, like cheerleading practices.. GOSH. i dont even know what's happening la. : i'm so isolated from the world... *moans*
you know what. i think i shant keep putting up any fronts anymore. people dont realise how crumbly i feel inside about everything. i mean. seriously. some people just infer that i'm feeling a certain way and well. i dont at all. but then again. most of the time i dont feel anything. i'm just as blank and blur as a ce of white paper. hah. what am i talking about. garh.
the bell's gonna ring soon. yay. its time to go home. HAH. what sarcasm. you know what. i like going to school now. it means more time away from home. but then when teachers come in.. i feel dreary again. then i wanna go back home. to the comfort of my bed.. and my mogu. maybe i dont hate home after all. after that one week at home. i've become more attached. i guess what i really dont like is the control. the restrictions that i face when everyone's at home. i like being home alone. but then. i guess someone would call me selfish. again.
i'm a stupid stupid girl that produces such lousy grades, who gave up on her studies, dropped out of school and will become a clerk. i'll prove it to you. even if i stay in singapore i'll get my diploma. and degree. so there.
hah. finally. i've said almost all i wanted to say. dunno when i'll ever use the computer again. hah. we'll see about that. i'll use it in school. so there.
events this week
thursday - hApPy BiRtHdAy KhOoKiE! (: , sophia blackmore lectures! (yay! its some lit thingo thats complusory.. sounds super duper cool.)
Friday - HOLIDAY! (more studying *groans* shuj says we might have cheerleading! (: )
sunday- baptism.. ahh. my dear old brother is getting baptised.. (:
monday - wonderful school. (moans...)
okay. bell rang. gotta rush. home. bahh.
a shout of praise.
1:40 PM